Sweet Review #15: Malteasers Instant Malty Drink

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I was never a big fan of Whoppers. They were always among the last of my Halloween candy to be kept or touched. And while I drank my fair share of Ovaltine, it did bother me that the cocoa flavor was overshadowed by its sweetness and maltiness.

But with my first visit to continental Europe years ago, my perception of malted sweets changed when I tried Malteasers. Like many American kids at that time, I’d only heard of them from the British YouTubers danisnotonfire and amazingphil. I didn’t have high expectations since they seemed to just be a different version of Whoppers.  Boy, was I wrong. They were life-changinng, or at least perspective-changing. Unlike the chalky Whoppers, Malteasers had a cereal-like crunch.

So when my roommate bequeathed us her Malteasers drink mix before going home for the holidays, I knew I had to try it. All there was to do was pour an unspecified amount of warm water over three heaped teaspoons of the drink powder and stir. As you may be able to tell from the photo above, I was not feeling particularly eager to drink that much.

The oddest thing that struck me about this taste was how vegetal it was. Nothing on the ingredient list would suggest this property, but there were legume-y, brassica-y notes in the cup. At first I thought it might have had to do with the fact that I made it in a cup that was holding black tea very recently, but a whiff of the bag revealed this smell too.

Oh, and the drink doesn’t actually taste much like Malteasers. It’s not chocolatey enough, not is it milky enough as it’s mixed with water, and the saltiness is just too much. I was considering mixing this into coffee, which sounds unappealing for warm coffee but actually may work with iced.

Anyway, if you’re as much of a diehard Malteasers fan as me (or Dan), don’t get your hopes up.

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